Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The Stig's Identity is REVEALED!!

Hamilton may be hailed as one of the most talented drivers in F1 history, but in a 'larger' world of the automotive industry (480 million viewers weekly), The Stig is arguably the most enigmatic figure. Achieving cult like status not from his smashing times across the Top Gear test track (Although he is faster than Hamilton), but rather from Clarkson's ridiculous introduction that goes like "Some say, that his testicles are shaped like the Nurburgring; and that he's terrified of ducks. All we know is, he's called The Stig."

The identity of The Stig had always remained a secrecy, with all Top Gear presenters building a sense of mysteriousness by claiming they too, don't understand where this 'Driving Machine' came from, presumably outer space and is an alien that's slowly learning about humanity. Where The Stig can be seen rolling out of airport baggage carousels, lifted from forklifts, and listening to language lessons in Greek, or listening to mannerism tapes whilst thundering across the Top Gear Test Track.

Now, sadly, presumably by idiots that had no understanding of how important it is to remain The Stig's identity a secrecy, they've revealed the unwanted secret.

The Stig, is racing veteran Ben Collins from Bristol, UK. A former racer of F3, Lemans and various other racing championship had his identity disclosed when he was producing some photos of The Stig in action. There's also another instance when he needed a quick fix on his wardrobe, the young carpenters revealed that there are indeed those white racing suits in Ben Collin's wardrobe.

So what's our conclusion? It's a conspiracy, The Stig actually learns about the human language and the art of speaking whilst rummaraging through TGTT, and when he needed to learn the human ways, he puts on a Martian costume that mimicks Ben Collins.

"Some say, that his left and right legs are sticked to the clutch and the acceleration pedal all the time, and that he's able to brake with something else. All we know is, he's called The Stig."